It was raining on Tuesday and Iyla had not stopped moaning for about three hours so as Dad2babyinsomniac was home and I was very desperate, I convinced him that it would be a good idea to take her to our local indoor play centre. Or ‘hell’ as he likes to call it. I told him that it would be empty at this time of day (I used to work there) and promised him that it wouldn’t be a ‘warehouse full of screaming brats’.
I hadn’t actually worked there for two years so in that time it must have started getting busy because when we got there the car park was rammed, we had to go back out and park somewhere else. ‘Oops’.
The brat explosion that greeted us behind the tinted doors (obviously so people can’t look through and run away – once their kids have walked inside it’s too late to turn back) was too much for Dad2babyinsomniac and he had to go and sit in the corner with his magazine. I let him off though as he was expecting it to be empty! At least Iyla had stopped moaning which was the result I was hoping for.
I took her up on the play frame and we were happily playing when a little boy came over – he was perfectly well behaved and was fascinated by Iyla or ‘baby’ as he kept calling her. He was gentle and stroked her head carefully and would have been very pleasant had it not been for the stench that was coming from his backside. It doesn’t matter how cute I find the kid, if they are responsible for stinking out the entire room then I will want to run in the opposite direction. Now if his mum hadn’t of been sat right next to him then I might have made some allowances (or just ran off without anyone noticing) but all she had to do was follow my prompt and smell his bum after she saw me smell Iylas and then she could have gone and changed his nappy. I mean if I see someone smell their babies bum then I always check Iyla. It’s just what you do, isn’t it?!
We had only made it to the top of the slide before we encountered brat number two, this time he wasn’t well behaved nor was he gentle. I went to sit at the top of the slide and put Iyla on my lap ready for take off to find a little boy trying to climb and throw balls up the slide. In the tone I used when I worked there, I told him not to throw balls or climb up the slide as its not allowed and he gave me a demonic grin before chucking a ball at me.
His mum was there with a little baby so I would imagine that his attention seeking behaviour was down to jealousy of his younger sibling, I know there is always a reason but as much as I was trying to be understanding, it’s quite hard when you have a glazed eyed twin of Damien throwing balls at you with an evil grin on his face. Plus I know kids misbehave for their mums but aren’t they meant to listen when someone else asks them not to do something?!
In the end I told him I was going to go and tell his mum which made him disappear pretty sharpish but then we met again at the bubble. After trying to block our way a few times he kept running up and down trying to knock the dangly padded things into Iyla before going into the bubble and pretending to howl whilst looking up every now and again to see if anyone was watching. He kept it up for ten minutes (pretty impressive) before his mum noticed and we were finally able to go into the bubble without being terrorised by a three year old.
It takes around 30 seconds to form a first impression of another adult.
Does it work in the same way with kids or does being a mum mean you instantly have to like all children even if they are stinky and disobedient?!
I do like kids and I also understand that any who misbehave are trying to express themselves through their bad behaviour but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be thinking ‘BRAT’ in my head whilst they are lobbing balls at me, especially if they SMELL LIKE TOXIC POO.
On another note, there was a mum there who had twins around the same age as Iyla – they were nearly walking. And they were wearing babygros. Babygros are amazing for the first few months – Iyla lived in them but I wouldn’t ever take her out in one now. I wouldn’t go out in my pyjamas so I can’t expect her to! Obviously if you are popping to the shop then allowances could be made but babygros are actually called sleepsuits – FOR A REASON!
Don’t think we will be going back there for a while! Unless we win the lottery and can afford to rent out the entire thing.