To my little Iyla Cherry….
I’m sorry that I don’t deal with stress very well and let it make me snappy and irritable.
I’m sorry that sometimes I swear.
I’m sorry I am so tired by your bedtime that I don’t enjoy reading you stories as much as I should.
What I am trying to say is that I’m sorry for not being perfect. I know saying that is silly because it’s not actually possible to be perfect but from the moment you were born I so desperately wanted to be.
I know that everything I do is shaping what kind of person you will grow up to be and what kind of relationship we will have when you’re older. Things didn’t turn out very well with me and my mum. I have learnt from her mistakes and I know the changes that I want to make with you.
I will never be perfect but I will ALWAYS put you first. Every decision I make will always be made with you in mind. I will always do what I think is best for you. I will always protect you and love you more than anything else in the whole world. I will never stop trying to make myself a better person. I will always be there for you and listen to what you have to say. I will always appreciate just how lucky I am to have you in my life.
Seeing you turn into such a lovely little girl is a privilege that I feel grateful for every day and it makes me so proud when I see you do things that you have learnt from me. Yesterday you were playing with your dolls and you lined them all up on the floor, covered them with your muslins, read them a story, told them you loved them, then laid next to them and pretended to sleep.
You are so caring and are always showering everything with kisses and cuddles because we have always showered you with so many and that is how you have learnt to be.
You might also have developed a lack of patience from Daddy and a tendency to say the word ‘shit’ from Mummy but hey, we can’t all be perfect and as long as there is love and cuddles, I think we will be just fine.
I love you more than you will ever know, Mummy xxxxxx