When I was 12, we moved to Glastonbury and it’s where I spent all of my teenage years.
Anyone who hasn’t visited the small town in Somerset will usually conjure up images of hippies, crystals, the tor or more than likely the festival (although the festival is actually held in a village a few miles away).
I also conjure up images of all these things but I do so in the form of memories. Glastonbury plays such a big part in my memories, some of which are good, some of which are bad but all of which I would like to keep in the past.
I feel so disconnected to the person that I was as a teenager and walking down Glastonbury high street does nothing but make me relive my past in too much detail. I only live a couple of miles away and I regularly drive through but yesterday was the first time I had a reason to walk into the town and I was immediately taken back in time.
It’s not that it was a bad time, it really wasn’t but I am a completely different person to the one I was then and the things I used to do are so alien to me now.
The thing about Glastonbury is that a lot of people end up there on a journey to ‘find themselves’ and usually these people are so busy ‘searching’ that they don’t realise what their kids are up to. And what a lot of the kids are up to is hanging around the streets taking drugs. I know that this happens everywhere but there is something that makes it almost socially acceptable in Glastonbury.
From the age of 16-19 my weekends were all about drinking and drug-taking and because of the way they enhance and magnify how you are feeling, the highs are amazing and the lows are awful. I would spend most of Friday night experiencing the most intense burst of euphoria, then it would just wear off and I would come back down to earth with a bang. It would then take three days of feeling depressed, teary and panicky before I started to feel normal again.
Was it worth it?
I would say yes and no. The feelings that I experienced when I had taking drugs were indescribable and I am glad that I have the memories of them but at the same time I wish I had been stronger and not felt the need to take them. One of my best friends never took any and I admire her for that.
The reason I have a hard time revisiting it all is because there is something a bit dirty about it. I walk past the flat that I used to live in and I have flashbacks to the not so pleasant side of taking drugs. The early hours of the morning when they have worn off and you can’t sleep. Everything feels strange and the people who you were completely in love with a few hours earlier are suddenly a bit creepy and weird. It makes me feel uncomfortable reliving those feelings which is why I don’t like walking round my hometown.
I’m not ashamed of the things I used to do, I am nothing if not honest and I would be more than willing to tell anyone about my past because it’s exactly that, my past.
I would be interested to hear where you spent your teenage years and whether they involved any drug-taking, it’s hard to compare as I never grew up anywhere else! I can’t be the only one…surely?!
Here is a photo of the old me at Glastonbury Festival.
This is a great honest post and not uncommon for a lot of teens. I grew up in a small town knew a lot of people that took drugs. I guess a lot depends on what ‘crowd’ you hang out with. My crowd weren’t the sort but I was always intrigued, maybe a bit jealous of the people that did, like it made them cool. My boyfriend at that time smoked pot so I hadn’t not tried anything.
I went to the dance festivals Homelands and Creamfields and it was blatant that you needed to take drugs to last all night there. With Creamfields my friends and I dragged on a spliff walking up to the entrance but never would have taken anything in there!
When I was about 21 I got friendly with a girl I worked with who did drugs and she ended up my weekend drinking buddy and one night I tried an E. I remember being so paranoid about the drinking enough but had the best night, I will never forget and totally get why people (especially the young) can get so hooked. The comedown was awful, even worse when I had to go shopping with my Mum and had to pretend I was ill so I could go to bed! I have never done it again and of course never would now but I don’t regret it. It’s all part of growing up and satisfied a curiosity for me xx
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Thank you for sharing. I can also remember being so paranoid about taking my first pill, I honestly thought I was going to die but in reality far more people die from alcohol and I have been in far more danger from drinking then I ever was when I used to take drugs. But yep the comedown is literally horrendous and having to deal with parents with it is even worse! I used to lock myself in my room!
I think it is an interesting thing to experience, my problem was that I went a bit of the rails as a teen so took everything to excess, drug-taking being one of them. But my past has made me who I am today so I don’t regret it
x
Jessica Amey recently posted..Round My Hometown
I have experimented with drugs in the past. I don’t regret this as regret is nearly pointless and all our experiences add up to the person we are today, and so it is what it is. The question I have for you is what will your attitude be with your daughter when she is a teenager, towards drugs ?
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That is a really good question and one that me and Dad2BabyInsomniac were talking about last night. I was saying to him that there isn’t much she could do that would shock us because of everything we used to get up to but he HATES the idea of her ever even going out let alone drinking and drug-taking. I think I am going to take the approach of being really honest with her and most importantly not telling her ‘not’ to do anything as I believe that it will only make her want to do it more. I am also hoping that if we bring her up in the right way then we will be able to trust her to make the right choices in life. Not to necessarily not take them but to know where to draw the line.
If I am honest though and I know this is a bit controversial, I would rather her mess around with drugs a bit in her teens and then get over it then be a weekend heavy binge-drinker. In my experience I have been in far more danger from drinking then I ever was when I used to take drugs and I just can’t see how alcohol is so socially acceptable but that’s a whole different topic! x
Jessica Amey recently posted..Round My Hometown
Totally agree with you, I feel quite sick thinking about some of the things we used to do, and that people still do even all these years on. Everytime someone comes into the hospital with a drug or alcohol problem or who’s brains are completely ruined due to drug use I feel so so lucky that it isnt me and also so guilty that I put myself at risk. I think there needs to be much more education on this as at school you just get told about people dying from taking drugs when really it can be much worse than that.
But yeah, the situations people find themselves in through drinking (mentioning no names…) are usually much more risky and dangerous, and yet drinking is seen as acceptable!
Sox about the essay
xx
I never tried drugs but I started smoking when I was 12. Smoking some weird stuff over a few years! By 18 I stopped it all and kind of just got bored with it. I won’t go near anything like that now but I’m glad I tried it and got it out of my system. Even though 12 was a bit too young!!
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Great and honest post. Something that’s still really taboo – especially once you become a parent and feel the need to be responsible and set an example. I think it’s easy for people to forget things they’ve done in the past that might “taint” the view people have of them now. But you’re right not to regret because regret is pointless. x
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I don’t have any regrets, I had a lot of fun when I was younger, and drug-taking is/was an experience. However, I do look back at some of my actions and think ‘Wow, that was really stupid and dangerous’. I have no doubt that there will come a time when Arlo will try illegal substances. I just hope we are able to talk about it (as I did with my mum) and discuss the importance of safety, etc, and which drugs I am most definitely NOT cool with.
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What a very honest post. I went to university in Leeds and got very involved in the music scene there- I experimented with different things and had some amazing times. Most of my friends did as well, although not all, it was common there amongst students. However my wonderful hubby has never ever touched a drug or a cigarette even, and at the time he was the manager in the bar I worked. I wish I could look back and say the same but it was a part of growing up, I never hurt anyone and I certainly didn’t need them- they just enhanced the odd night out. I would never ever do it now, in fact I can’t even have a drink without being a lightweight and I certainly don’t condone them, I hope Mads is more sensible than me.
x
All people have little stories about their past, but it makes you who you are- and who I am now is a sensible Mummy who loves my little girl more than anything.
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