If you read my blog then you will know that I am no parenting expert. In fact, I am quite the opposite. Before I started blogging I used to turn to Google when I encountered anything new on my journey through motherhood but now I turn to Twitter or my lovely blog readers because it’s always better to hear from people who have real experience.
Something scary just happened. I did end up using my maternal instincts but I have no idea if I did the right thing or not because I had no idea things could ever get that scary.
Iyla has been ill over the weekend and as I am still breastfeeding her, I did so more than normal because she wasn’t eating. She is nearly better now though and I can’t just let her breastfeed whenever she wants to because I would NEVER get her off so when she asked I said no.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
She was screaming, hitting, screeching and stamping. Then she screamed so much that she puked all over the sofa and in her hair. Thank god Dad2BabyInsomniac was home as we had to give her a bath which was a two man job in this situation. She was going mental, like absolutely mental. I then got her out and I had to just leave her then in her room because nothing I did was helping.
I watched from the door as she jumped, screamed, shouted absolute nonsense and paced the room falling to the ground every now and again. Eventually she calmed down and now she is happier than ever whilst me and Dad2BabyInsomniac are in a state of shock. I am scared, waiting for her to flip out again! The whole thing lasted nearly an hour.
I was expecting tantrums. But not this!
How often do they have them?!
Are they meant to be this bad?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!!
One day, when I know everything there is to know about parenting, I will pass on my knowledge to people in a similar situation to the one I am in now!
I still don’t fully understand tantrums and mine are nearly 6 and 4. What I do know though is they are perfectly normal but they do get themselves in a state and I’m guessing as Iyla has been ill the sickness was probably related to that. Children do have to learn though and they’re not always going to like it so then they react…and try to get you to react. If you do react then…..mmmmm that’s the fun bit.
You have to remain the grown up – I don’t always and have been to known to get into a full on slanging match with my 5 year old daughter which is not big or clever! Iyla is learning to push your buttons. You will both learn together. And make sure you and Dad and singing from the same song sheet!
Oh, and remember Iyla will forget about it a whole lot quicker than you, don’t let it stick in your head. Sorry for the essay x x
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Yeah she seemed to forget very quickly! I, on the other hand am scarred for life! I am sure they will get easier but I’m already dreading it happening when we are out! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
oh dear, I bet the fact shes been abit offish this weekend meant shes still not feeling herslef so it exaggerated the tantrum slightly but in saying that maybe it was just a coincidence and I bet she will have more tantrums to this scale at some point.. because they all do! I think the key is to stick to your guns like you did here, so if it was in protest to you saying no to breastfeeding, then as long as you don’t give in and breastfeed till shes calm and all is forgven then you’ve done right and it won’t take long till she realises your not going to be won over by her screams, although sometimes its a case of picking your battles and if you see a potential tantrum situation arising and you don’t feel like going through with the hour of hysteria, then be careful before you say ‘no’ because if you change your mind midway through screamin fit they think the tantrum worked, so way up yes/no answers first where possible..
xx
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That is really helpful advice, thank you. I think I am going to start using no for the really important stuff because it is not worth having a tantrum like that over anything! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Hey hon, you have to be careful with tantrums as if you react to them then they will keep throwing them. The best thing to do is to tell her off in a firm not too scary manner and then tell her what you are going to do, i.e. no Iyla you are being naughty, I have told you no now go and sit on the naughty step or if she wont do that then say ok I will leave the room and wait until you have calmed down. It will probably take a while but she should eventually get there, however if you dont do this then she will learn that she can get her own way and do this all the time as it pushes your buttons – dont underestimate how clever she is! This is the perfect time to start setting those boundaries, I know this is hard as you wont be the popular one but it will pay off in the long run…if you leave it, it will only get worse – kids are crafty!
xx
Thanks Nib. I think I will definitely be more prepared for next time. It was just such a shock as it came out of nowhere! I even at one point thought that she wouldn’t have tantrums! That will serve me right! xx
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Not that I know any better (!) but it sounds like you handled the situation well. It’s important that she learn to respect your personhood as separate to her and your authority as her parent. I am so not looking forward to tantrums.
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I am dreading the first time she does it in public! I just hope they only happen occasionally, people warned me about them but I had no idea how bad they could be! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Blimey, that sounds really scary! Sounds like you did all the right things, but it must have made you feel terrible. My nine year old still has similar tantrums from time to time when she gets really angry. Hers are a sort of primal roaring, rather than shouting or crying, she’s like a girl possessed by a furious tiger.
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Haha that sounds like me when I was a teenager! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
I echo previous comments that it sounds like you handled things perfectly. Breastfeeding is a two way street and as babies turn into toddlers I think its important to develop some etiquette, like you being allowed to say no. As for tantrums how many they have depends a little on how spirited your child is and how you handle them. I think if you are clear and consistent even the most spirited child will learn the boundaries pretty quickly.
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Thank you
I know she’s been unwell but it’s like she literally wants my boob in her mouth 24/7 which is just ridiculous! I think I am definitely more prepared for the next one now, unless it happens when we are out! I don’t know if I will ever be prepared for that! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Oh dear those terribe, twos! Yes sadly t this is how they are. Burton can suddenly go off on one and have a min melt down and just screams and kicks and cries and nothing we can do can calm him down. We have to leave him to ride it out which can take a while. It is horrible and not pleasant for anyone so I do feel for you. It is also made worse when they are tired or off colour.
xx
Hugs to you Jess as I am afraid you have more to come
Thank you
I guess maybe the fact that she was just getting over an illness made it worse…I hope so anyway! I am dreading the next one, and especially if it happens in public! xx
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Awwww honey… my babes are way past this stage (although they still like to throw a strop or 2!) My middle daughter did the exact same thing when I wouldn’t breastfeed her – I was pregnant with number 3 and needed to give my bazucca’s a break!! It took 2 weeks of Daddy taking her out of the room and letting her scream it out, then she just stopped throwing a tantrum about it – overnight! She soon found something else to strop about of course, I used to just ignore them… It is SO hard though! Good luck xxx
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Thanks lovely. I really can’t see her giving up the boob without a fight, she is a milkaholic! I am very sure that she will find something else to strop about though, I am dreading the teenage years already! xx
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
From what I hear and have experienced this is totally normal, if a little scary. As you know, F is a tiny bit older than Iyla (21 months) and about a month ago we had a similar situation. She’d been asleep and woke up around 9pm and was clearly furious to be awake. We tried to soothe her back to sleep but she was getting more and more worked up. In the end, she had such a huge tantrum she was sick on herself. It was horrible. When it was over and she finally calmed down, I rang my mum in tears. Know what she said? “You were EXACTLY the same.” Just remember, she doesn’t have another way of expressing herself yet and, if she’s passionate and feisty now, she’ll continue to be so. That’s no bad trait when she’s 20 something. She’s bound to be successful! x
That is a very good way of looking at it! I guess it would be so frustrating to be told you couldn’t have something you wanted when you weren’t able to communicate properly. I just can’t believe how nuts they can go, it was like she had been possessed! I never understood until now, I am dreading it happening in public though! x
Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted..Help
Oh goodness, poor you. I am afraid I can’t be any help as we haven’t quite got to that stage with W yet, though I fear we are not far away. It does sound completely normal though, but still horrid for you. At least she has determination and character! Hugs x
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Totally normal. I have had head banging over tiled floors and off walls, biting their wrists, making themselves sick. It is quite distressing at times. You did the right thing. She will grow out of it!
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